The past two weekends I have been working with a group of young adults from Holy Cross parish in San Pedro Sula that are working toward starting a music ministry. A few of the members of their group attended a Pan de Vida retreat, and invited me to help them with the retreat, particularly with the music ministry.
Last weekend, I went up to San Pedro Sula to give them a mini-talk on music ministry and worship leading, and also to rehearse with them for an upcoming retreat, that took place this past weekend in Siguatepeque.
The retreat weekend was beautiful – there were over 100 youth from the parish that came to participate! The theme of the retreat was “Planted and built up in Christ, firm in the faith” the same as this past World Youth Day 2011.
This opportunity came up on such a whim, and I have realized that over the past few months that other opportunities have come up on “whims” such as this one – all of them amazing opportunities to serve the Lord in the way that I feel called to!
Last weekend at rehearsal with their band in San Pedro, they requested that I sing at the mass for World Mission Sunday. As Fr. Egar preached on life as a mission, I had to take a moment to reflect on my own life in that very instant.
He preached of mission as I myself was on a mission, and one that I knew God had truly put into my path and asked of me. “Is this really my life right now?” I thought to myself. And not in a bad way at all, but an amazed way. Reflecting on these past 3 years of mission and life abroad in central america, there have been many moments where I step back and look at my life and wonder – what the heck am I still doing here? But at the same time, everything inside of me is convinced that this is where God wants me to be right now.
There have been so many moments in this time where I’ve been in the middle of an intense situation, and in the midst of it all, I step out of myself and think – This is exactly where God wants me to be. When I lead worship for different youth groups and at retreats, I think to myself – wow… This is what I was made for.
And here I am. Three years later….here I am. Marvelling at God’s love for us and how he truly grants the desires of our hearts when we submit ourselves to His will. To think so many years I rebelled against Him for the sake of my own “happiness” and all of a sudden I realize that my happiness is all God ever had in mind.
To think that this particularly journey began by a leap of faith and trusting in God’s faithfulness and has now become not just an experience but my identify is beyond my understanding. It all seems so crazy.
This weekend we sang a song that truly spoke to my heart – It is called “Hasta La Locura” (Even in the Madness)
Here are the lyrics with the translation:
me puede faltar todo en la vida , (I could be lacking everything in life)
me puede faltar hasta la vida, (I could even lack life itself)
pero nunca quiero que me falte (But I never want to lack)
el deseo de amarte hasta el final (the desire to love you until the end)
